So here I am. I've been thinking all day about this being the first day of a new year, and I haven't written anything. Not a post of gratitude, not a tidbit of wisdom. I was wondering what (or when) I was going to write about - or rather, where to start. And then, driving home tonight, in the dark, the hood of my jacket rubbed my neck and I took a look down at what I was wearing... and I smiled.
It's sort of a long time ago, no so important, not so very long story, but ohhhh the impact... About 20 years ago (wasn't that a lifetime!), I remember having a conversation with a (long since removed from my life) "friend". It was all about where we would like to live ideally. I had said I would love to live on an acreage, out of town, where the stars are bright and the nights are quiet. I remember saying it and being scoffed at. "You? On an acreage? City girl like you, in the country? Not likely..." and then... snickered laughter. I remember the sting then.
Fast forward 20 years. I live on an acreage, or rather a small farm. I wear hiking boots outside, and more often than not, I declare today to be "sweatpants day". I wear baseball hats, and keep my hair tied up or back. There are days my face doesn't see make up, but mud. And... this is my place. I love it, and I'm good at it.
I've always found it challenging when we outgrow people in our lives. It's a sort of break up with what you knew, what was acceptable, what you tolerated, and what level that proverbial bar is set at, yet I marvel at the lessons that make us move it up a notch, knowing some things (people) are better left behind. The problem for me, I suppose, is that I am a gratification girl. I like to be patted on the head ( I know at least two or three of you that just smiled). I like it when I prove people wrong and flash a little rock star, but when you leave people behind, sometimes they don't get to see it... and I like it when they see it. ( You know why. It feels good to be better than "I told you so".) So this post, right now, sitting in my sweat pants and baseball hat, hiking boots by the back porch door, looking out the window to our little farm, makes me smirk. Yes, Sye O'Malley, I am a farm girl, and a damn good one, and this post is for you and every single "friend" that got left behind out of sheer necessity for my own good.
This is a new year post. Last year was a challenge. I cried - a lot. There was life to deal with, and much of it wasn't easy. There were hard decisions, and triumphs. There were glories, and extreme proud moments. There was fear, there was uncertainty... and there was love. Above all else, there was love; love of it all - the experience, the people, the loss, the gain, the failures, the successes. 2018 was life and 2019 is, of course, all about the moving forward despite what or whom we've left behind. We really have no other choice. This year is going to be all about a farm girl's "rockstar" life and not about anyone's I told you sos.
Here we go. This is our Happy Place.
