I had to... just so I could hear you. It's been so loud, and tonight my shoulders are just too heavy.
So I sat down. I quieted my mind... and there you were. This memory hit me and I knew it was you.
I remembered the first time I hugged you. It was awkward and hard, and strained and...careful. I laughed and said "not a hugger, hey?" and I hugged you harder, because I dared too. That was not even two years ago yet. There wasn't enough time...
Then I remembered the last. You hugged me so tight, and and told you loved me. You thought I didn't hear you, so you said it again - and made sure I looked right at you. I heard you. I felt you. And I knew.
And it's only a few days later, and I am supposed to be the tough one...you said so. So I do, and I take care of, and I show up, and I do some more. I swallow hard and keep going...
Tonight I just can't. It's just so quiet. So I will watch the sun burn out and cry.
This wasn't part of the deal, Herman. It wasn't part of the deal.