Wednesday, October 21, 2015

It Wasn't Part Of The Deal

I had to shut out all the voices and all the noise tonight.

I had to... just so I could hear you.  It's been so loud, and tonight my shoulders are just too heavy.

So I sat down.  I quieted my mind... and there you were.  This memory hit me and I knew it was you.
I remembered the first time I hugged you.  It was awkward and hard, and strained and...careful.  I laughed and said "not a hugger, hey?" and I hugged you harder, because I dared too.  That was not even two years ago yet.  There wasn't enough time...

Then I remembered the last.  You hugged me so tight, and and told you loved me.  You thought I didn't hear you, so you said it again - and made sure I looked right at you.  I heard you. I felt you.  And I knew.

And it's only a few days later, and I am supposed to be the tough said so.  So I do, and I take care of, and I show up, and I do some more.  I swallow hard and keep going...

Tonight I just can't.  It's just so quiet.  So I will watch the sun burn out and cry.

This wasn't part of the deal, Herman.  It wasn't part of the deal.